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« on: January 28, 2014, 04:44:37 am »
Alec wandered around Drun for the better part of a day. The sun was high in the air, and he was... bored. Utterly, totally, BORED! His fun sense had been silent all day, and he was beginning to think that a planet full of bloodthirsty pirates got amazingly less violent as they got closer and closer. Like Ninjas in movies, a sort of... Conservation of Ninjutsu effect.
"Hmm. Maybe I should check the Extranet and see if it's already been discussed. Maybe a site about Tropes on Television." He mused aloud as he kicked dust down the street. It was then that he passed something he didn't think he'd see on such a planet.
A Toy Store!
And in the window, something he'd thought he'd never see again. "A 'My Pretty Horsie'!?" He exclaimed aloud.
Are you seriously still on the Horse thing? Sandra asked. It's a TV show for little girls.
"Sandra. We've had this conversation. That show is witty and funny beyond it's demographic, AND I NEED IT RIGHT NOW! IT'S A LIMITED EDITION SHYFLY! And that **** Cassidy isn't here to buy it before me like she did all those years ago."
He blinked. "I feel like something just tried to censor me."
Don't be such an uncultured ****, Sandra. Clara replied Pity it's not Prism Rush though. Shyfly ****ing sucks. It was Clara's turn to blink. I feel it too. A disturbance in my vocabulary.
"Nevermind that. Let's get in there now!" Alec exclaimed as he pushed open the door and ran inside, grabbing the small toy package off of the shelf and running to the counter. "One Collector's edition Shyfly!" He yelled as he placed it before the cashier, who looked from the small yellow pegasus on the counter to the cybernetic mercenary with the giddy look on his face.
The Turian raised an eyeplate. "Sir? Are you getting this for your... Daughter, or something? Not too many people like you come in here."
"No..." Alec said, puzzled. "It's for me. I've wanted one of these for a while."
"Uuuhhh huuuuuh." The cashier replied. "That'll be 300 Credits."
"Alrighty then, have a good day!" Alec said with a smile. He grabbed the toy from the counter and opened it, placing the horse on his shoulder, his arm's built-in Eezo Generators causing it to stick there. "Come on Shyfly, there's a marathon on tonight! We have so much to catch up on!"
Ha! Eat it Cassidy! It may have taken five years, but we finally got the Shyfly!
... You guys have no lives...
"Go away Sandra. We're enjoying ourselves." The mad merc replied as he headed back to his ship, unaware of the shadowy figure that was following him. "I'm suddenly aware of a shadowy figure following us." He added, narrowing his eyes.
You son of a ****, fine Alec, you want to play like that? Quick as a flash, the figure swooped down and grabbed the figure off Alec's shoulders, and he could swear he heard the Pegasus' soft voice crying for his help before the figure shoved her into the bag on its hip.
"Hey! Give her back!" Alec yelled.
Yeah! We've waited too long for this!
Oh for god's sake. Just kill this fool and get on with it.
Alec pulled Clara out of her holster and pointed her at the figure. "Drop the horse and nobody gets hurt." He growled, making an otherwise silly request sound very serious.
"Really Alec?" She said with a ****y smile. "Don't you remember how this turned out on Omega? The horse is mine."
"Cassidy." He scowled. "You already got a Shyfly. I watched you steal it from my very fingertips. Why do you want this one?"
"Because I broke it."
"J- W- THAT MAKES MY POINT EVEN MORE SALIENT! You don't even know how to take care of a collectible!" He yelled.
"Doesn't matter. I have the horse now, and she's staying with me. Ta ta!"She called before running down the street, leaping onto the rooftops.
"Oh no you don't!" Alec yelled, chasing after her. He leaped onto the rooftops, pounding the tiles as he made his way after his rival, firing occasionally as the nimble thief seemingly dodged bullets, taking them across the entire city, before they wound up in a completely new place. Tobias' section of the city. The edge of the city rapidly approached, the sands shifting just beyond where the buildings ended. Cassidy stopped at the edge of the city, obviously not familiar enough with the layout to have eluded Alec.
"Drop. The. Bag." He growled, pulling Sandra from her sheath.
"Make me." Cassidy shot back, drawing her own blade, a thin, french blade.
"Ach, ye wee frog! Tha's not a blade, this is a blade!" He cackled, his scottish claybeg a much more impressive blade.
"We'll see." She said, jumping forward, flashing her blade. Alec caught the blade on his sword, surprised that the thing didn't snap in half. He swung Sandra again and again, her blade whistling through the air as Cassidy ducked and weaved, dodging every slash.
"Stay the **** still!" He yelled.
Seriously, how is she doing this?
"I think she's cheating!" Alec replied, exasperated. "How am I supposed to cut her with that going on?"
Hellooooooooo Clara called. I'm a gun, remember?
"Oh yeah." The Merc replied, quick-drawing Clara and firing thrice, the bullets pinging off of Cassidy's shields.
Frustrated, Cassidy jumped at Alec, aiming to stab at his leg, only to feint and instead go for his heart. Yet Alec somehow caught the blade, causing it to go straight into his arm, puncturing the synthflesh. "Wh- How did you?" She stammered as the merc raised his arm, carrying the smaller woman up with it as the artificial skin healed around it, keeping it there.
"I read the narration." He said simply, as if he were telling a child something obvious. He flicked Sandra casually, cutting the bag from Cassidy's armour. "Now get out of here."
The woman complied, scampering away from the site of her defeat as Alec ruffled through the bag, placing the small yellow toy in it's rightful place and yanking the sword out of his arm. "All is right with the universe." He simply said.
Hooray! Clara replied, clapping her hands excitedly.
Hooray... I guess. Can we go home now?
Yes! We'll be just in time for the new episode! I heard it's a Shyfly episode as well!
"Caliente Damnanito!" Alec exclaimed. "All right, we'll go home, watch it, **** online, THEN we go and kill Cassidy."
Wait. Why did you let her run away then?
"In case I can't find anything else to do later. The Narration's not keeping up his part of the bargain. He gets to stay in my head so long as he comes up with things to do."
Well I'm sorry Alec. There hasn't been really much for you to do, I mean, you really are sort of a jo-
"Don't you DARE call me a Joke Character."
Did you just... Interrupt the Narration?
"Quiet, voice in my head. Send me home, and we can end this discussion that looks wierd to everyone else."
Okay, okay, jeez. Ahem...
With his prize reclaimed and sitting in her rightful spot on his shoulder, Alec purposefully walked back in the direction of his ship, wondering if anything else strange would happen this day. And how many more voices would appear in his head.
((Get back in here you wimps. I just wrote the most outlandish and stupid thing ever. AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO DO IT AGAIN. I HAVE A KEYBOARD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.))