"And that's when I looked the Batarian straight in his four eyes and said, "Hell, you can keep the ship, it smells like a Krogan's ass anyway!""
The harem of Asari dancers burst out laughing along with the ruggedly handsome looking man in the middle of them. He sported a rather large captain's hat, with an Asari around each arm, and a bottle of some foul smelling gut rot alcohol in each hand. They ate up every word he said, every story he told. And he was just coherent enough right now to realize that. A rather angry looking human stormed up through the VIP section of the seedy Omega club and towards the drunken captain.
"Tobias what in the sphincter of hell are you doing? You are aware that we have something kind of important to do tomorrow? Yes?"
The drunk captain pulled his lips from the mouth of the nearest Asari and turned towards the angry man.
"Max!"
He staggered to his feet still clutching the bottles, and threw his arm around the man's shoulder, using him as a post to keep from falling face first on the floor.
"You need to learn to cut loose a little!"
"And you need to learn how to do it less!" the angry man responded.
"Come on! Have I ever steered you wrong!?" The captain said, sounding jokingly offended.
"Yes...A lot. Like that time at that brothel on Illium...In that bar on Virmire...The the time we raided that Volus armored transport...The time you tried to
**** in that fountain on the Presidium...The time you told the head of the Phoenix Syndicate that his mother looked like an obese Elcor...Oh and there were those two Asian twins, remember them?"
"Oh come on Max, how was I supposed to know their father was head of the Yakuza?" The captain slurred out.
"We were trying to rob him!"
"Max, Max, Max....Maxyyyyyy...Maxamillionsssss! Forget all that. What is important is here and now. We'll make the checkpoint tomorrow on time. The Salarians won't know what hit them! Now come on! Live a little!"
The drunken captain ventured back to his eagerly awaiting harem of Asari. Max looked on with an expression of sheer anger and disappointment. The palm of his hand rested on his face as he muttered.
"How has he not gotten us all killed yet?"